"In a military marriage, duty is first; everything else second,” said Perkins, who lives in Honolulu with her husband, an active-duty soldier in the Army, and their four children. Military wives are not as likely to cheat as their deployed husbands.A misconception about military marriage is that it frequently involves infidelity, according to Perkins."Ever try moving 4,000 miles with three kids, a very pregnant wife and a large dog with only six weeks' notice? You either learn to work together or you break apart trying.” 6.The logistical aspects of being a military spouse can be a welcome distraction from the fact that your spouse could die at any moment.
While the military as an institution might be perceived as being overly traditional -- even closed-minded -- when it comes to marriage, Ruediger believes that the military made her interracial relationship possible. "One of the hardest things is not being allowed access to what your spouse really does," Di Silverio said.Military couples can't plan anything in advance -- not even their kids' birthday parties -- which can continually test their marriages.“Before I could plan my son's fifth birthday party next month, my husband had to put a request in to make sure he would not be put on duty that weekend and miss it,” Perkins said.In honor of Memorial Day, we talked to four military spouses about what what their marriages are really like, especially when one spouse is far away or in combat.They shared some truths about their lives, which are often misunderstood by civilians. Military couples put duty first -- not their marriages.